(Editor’s Note: This post is from Dave Tompkins one of the most bugged, brilliant guys I know, plus the nicest dude you’ll ever meet in the music biz. He didn’t have a conventional post (as if the words “conventional” and “Dave Tompkins” ever really went together) but it’s nice to stir stuff up now and then. –O.W.)
Plug Wonder Why
- Everybody and their grandmotherâ€™s three-legged robot hamster (1) have been sending me these linksâ€”thanks, Iâ€™m trying to get unapprehended by the Vocoder commissar. In words of dude who wrote Sennheiser Coder manual in â€™78 (included in Herbie Hancock press kit), â€œget your creatures together.â€
- Though they are often confused for one another, the same way the burping bog bank in Dark Crystal could be mistaken for a legitimate Florida real estate prospect, the same way Katherine Hepburnâ€™s Golden Toadcoder could be Larry Grahamâ€¦
- Is not the same as
- .The idea to use THIS was inspired by a mail-order book club flub and if I tell you any more Iâ€™ll have to give you a â€œvocal resectionâ€ â€“like they did Rock Hudson in Seconds (thereâ€™s a Graham Central Station joke in there, just past the fat-faced credits. Does that mean your voice will have to be reseatedâ€”in the sinusoidal bleeds? â€œThose bleeds?â€â€”Cannonball Runâ€”long ogle Jack Elamâ€™s eyeballs! Heil (2), hail the size of Peter Lorreâ€™s eyeballs! What if Peter Lorre played piano like Stevie in â€œHands Of Orlac?â€ Â What if Stevie rocked Orlacâ€™s robot gloves? What if Orlacâ€™s robot gloves could do something, like, stop them goobers from casting Will Smith in I Am Legend? )
- THAT was from the same episode where Cookie Monster steals a train and drives it through the set of Beat The Clock. (Not the episode where Cookie Monster eats a time machine).
- To quote my main Toad, Toad: â€œWe can open the box, Frog.â€
- To bite Simone Signoret in Army of Shadows: â€œWe need new crystals. The wavelengths have changed.â€
- To the bridge: â€œUrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghghhrrrmrmrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!â€ (Vocoder inventor Homer Dudley, freaking the monk, Harvard, 1936)
- To my mom: Â â€œYou couldnâ€™t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.â€ (Homer Simpson)
- To what end: â€œDave, that program is on, the one with the universe about the planets crashing into each other and plants living underground and methane gas and fossil bass and all that stuff you wanted for your book right?â€ (Mom)
- To properly toast Hua Hsuâ€™s birthday, play your copy of Grandmixer Delancey Stâ€™s â€œMegamix 2 (Why is it Fresh?)â€ and check out how he brings Sulu to the stage. (nice squeaky spit shield wipedown)
- That shit is so why.
- (1) My mom had a 3 legged hamster. His foot got caught in the mesh, rotted and fell off. Â At night itâ€™d get out the cage and she could hear it clumping around. As if hamsters clump!
- (2) Heil is a company that makes Talk Boxes